Just a 10 hour drive down I95

My husband Matt and I frequently drive to Florida. Matt's family hails from the blue waters of the Daytona Beach area. So, as we have now been married for 3 years we have made many voyages down ol' 95.

I feel there is an art to the drive down to the sunshine state. This art all starts with the drugging of our Weiner dog Scarlett (now hold on there PETA worshippers, don't get your panties in a bundle yet). If you know anything about our weiner dog, or weiner dogs in general, you would know that they are high strung. Scarlett exceeds this by 20. On numerous trips we have vacated from the car with talon scratches and hives, because the weiner can't cool her jets. She jumps from lap to lap and can't ever get settled. On our trip up north at Christmas, she managed to plow into Matt's unsipped mocha from the Bucks (Carpool is still finding a little each time). So in order to chill her out, we have opted for a half benadryl on long car rides. This HAS been ok'ed with the vet, and has saved us from tieing the weiner to the back of the car National Lampoons summer vacation style. The benadryl puts Scarlett at about 50% weiner dog mode which is doable.


The weiner dog is getting sleepy
very sleepy...

The first hour and a half of the drive is very exciting, as our taste buds begin to water just over the North Carolina line. We recently discovered on a trip during spring break Cook Out. Cook Out is a North Carolina fast food chain. This is not regular chain though my friends, but rather a venue of deliciousness. The menu consists of anything and everything a southern BBQ should have. I tend to order the combo meal, of a burger and 2 sides. The sides being hush puppies and fries. Another side you can choose is a corn dog, yes you can have a corn dog! Not to mention the 30 different flavors of milk shakes (mint Oreo you have stolen my heart). We have started planning our trips around eating at Cook Out, leaving at 11 AM in order to make the most of consuming gluttonous amounts of food. Please, oh please let me never move to North Carolina, because I would eat there every day. No, really I'm being serious.


This ain't Burger King this is the real shit B


Matt drooling over his chicken sandwich


HUSHPUPPIES!!!

After the shock of fried foods to our system we slowly let the miles of North Carolina slip by is our itis state. Until we are awakened by bright neon and black signs in the distance. These signs start rapidly approaching every few miles. They are signs for none other than South of the Border. If you have never had the pleasure of seeing SOTB you need to go at least once. SOTB has it's own little racist icon named Pedro. Pedro stars in the signs that lead the way up and down 95. The signs consist of clever little sayings a little Hispanic man might say like, "Pedro no shoot z bull" which is classic comedy. Matt and I like to read the signs to one another i our best Pedro voice. Not to toot my own horn or anything, but I must say that mines has gotten pretty good over the years. The signs begin the grown more and more frequent as you approach the main event. And then as you round a bend you see a giant glistening Sombrero in the distance. At mile marker 1 you can exit to SOTB and see this monstrosity of a neon hell. It sits on a few acres boasting anything from gift stores to amusement rides. The problem is I have never seen them working. You want fireworks? They have it. You want an authentic boomerang made in China? They have it. They even have bumper stickers. As wonderful as it is by day it is even more splendorfious by night. Could someone please tell me who pays the light bill?


Oh, Pedro how I love you so...


Brand new signage


The main event!

Now I could go on and on telling you about other interesting 95 traps, but it would take out all the fun for your next road trip. So pack up the car and head south and don't forget to bring some singles for those Cafe Risque girls. We all know that they have to make a living too.